Can you believe it? I’m almost half way through my second semester of medical school and I’m pretty sure I don’t know shit about anything. After deviating away from the lovely cadaver stories, I’ve decided to go back to it. Man, there are so many stories about dissections that need to be told!
Tie Your Hair Back
I really don’t understand why girls wake up 2 hours before classes start, sometimes at 6am, to blow dry their hair and even then it looks like shit… Of course I don’t say that to them unless I’m wearing an iron jockstrap… Anyway, it really does amaze me sometimes when I see girls from my class come to dissection all done up with their long flowing shitty hair. Who are they really impressing? The people are already dead. What’s worse is that every time they get really close to the body to the point where they’re almost licking it to make an incision, their shitty hair swoops the body taking with it remnants of cadaver fat and colonies of bacteria. Hmmm, doesn’t it make you want to run your fingers through it?
Humans Eat Other Animals’ Muscles
During dissection this week I realised something that’s sort of disturbing. I realised that when we’re eating beef, chicken, lamb, pork, and toucans we’re actually eating the animal’s muscles. Why did this occur to me? Well, when you uncover all the fat from the body revealing the muscles, it does look a lot like beef. However, I almost didn’t recognise the muscle without the girls swooping their long flowing hair across it. Surprisingly, blonde hair really does pick up a lot of crap!
Brush Your Teeth After You’ve Inhaled Cadaver Fumes for 2 Hours
Besides from smelling like a dead person all day your breath does take a hit as well. Some people like to breathe in through their mouth and if you do that for 2 hours straight during dissections, you better have a toothbrush hidden in your locker somewhere. I don’t know what the hell it is but your mouth just tastes funny after you’re done dissecting for the day. Having cadaver breath is not a great way to meet girls… well unless you find a freaky chick… I hear the Arts Faculty is full of them. Note to self: Scope out the Arts building after dissection this week.