For me it’s all about the chase. I know that’s a pompous way of finding a girlfriend, but like everything in my life I am much more satisfied if I have to work for it. Right now I’m not really working for it and that concerns me. It bores me to some extent and yeah maybe I am just your typical medical student asshole. Or maybe I just don’t want to be in a relationship right now. Yes, it’s nice to have somebody there, but I’m really enjoying my freedom. You see, it took me a while to get over my ex and I’m now at the point where I don’t even think about her anymore. I hate that period. I never want to be in that situation again. It does make you vulnerable.
The reason why I was so into my ex was because I had to work for it and in the end I just gave up. I never give up on anything, but you eventually get to that point. I realize that you can’t change people and I wouldn’t want somebody to change me either. I can be a jerk, but I can be a romantic too. I’m just a guy. It was incredibly sad to hear the words coming from her mouth telling me how horrible a person I was when in my heart I knew I have a lot of good in me. She never totally understood me or my family and that really bothered me. I can’t be with somebody who thinks of me as somebody I’m not. I think you have to be with me longer to get the real me because I rarely let people in and I rarely tell people about my private life. For some reason I felt like I needed to tell my side of the story for once.
It might seem like I just move on quickly, but there were some nights where I wanted to pick up the phone so bad, but I didn’t. I learnt a lot of self control over the past year. Not just with the relationship, but also in other aspects of my life. Now I’m at the point where I can finally move on and I think I’m happier now. I’m happy to just be single. I wasn’t sad when things ended – I was more angry for some reason. I’m much calmer now.
I know that this new girl really likes me and I have to be careful because I don’t want to give her any false impressions. I’m really not sure about her yet. What I am sure about is that it’s kind of nice to be the one being chased instead of the one chasing for once. Man I feel like I am in freaking high school again! “Oh he likes her,” or “She likes him…” blah blah blah yaddy yaddy yah. Seriously. I feel a zit coming on.